With Mother’s Day approaching, I’ve got a few things on my mind: parenting, kids, mom, the ridiculous shipping costs here in Alaska, dinner, money, donuts, coffee—just to name a few. Not all of those things have anything specifically to do with Mother’s Day, but I thought I would be candid with my thoughts.
I’ve been watching the show Parenthood somewhat religiously, and by that I mean that’s all I have done this last week because, you know, Netflix, introvertism, and unemployment are natural companions it seems. I mean, who works on job applications when hours of television can be streamed constantly with no break? …
Annnnyyywaaayy. If you’re familiar with the show you know that it is basically a series of ups and downs between a list of characters and their character children. Pretty basic sit-com/dramedy situation, and yet even as a somewhat cynical twenty-something with no kids, each episode somehow manages to tug at my heart strings and make me laugh-cry. It’s possible that the reason the show resonates so much with me is that I have finally grown up to the point where I really appreciate my parents. If my teenager self could see me now.
Now that I’m married and experiencing this weird pressure to start a family and be a supermom and pin handmade baby outfits and throw unecessarily over the top birthday parties for a child who will not remember them or appreicate how much money or DIY crafting went into the planning, I find myself really tipping my hat to the people who raised me—particularly, my mom. Parenting just seems…hard. It is a really daunting thought, being responsible for a tiny human being who depends on you completely. I can barely manage to make myself coffee in the morning, and it’s a pretty great day when I manage to eat a balanced breakfast or even three square meals. So it’s more than apparent that I am nowhere ready for a kid, but I do find myself thinking about how my mom managed all these years. I liked to think of myself as the perfect child, but I will admit I maybe was not entirely as shining and without reproach as I made myself out to be.
There were more than a few times growing up when I called my mom a crazy person because at the time I did not realize just how difficult it might be to not kill or totally screw up a child when you’re just trying your best and don’t have everything figured out yourself yet.
So here’s to you, Mom. You don’t believe in the internet, so you might never see this, but I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. You did a pretty good job raising me; I’ve been told that I’ve turned out okay, and a lot of that is probably to your credit. Happy Mother’s Day early.
Artful | Hopeful 